When the Stork Doesn't Deliver

When I woke up this morning and read the news, I saw something again about that lady who tries to look like Angelina Jolie - the one with the growing brood of children. And then that got me thinking how weird babies are. So then my train of thought jumped back to my four-year-old self, and I remembered how I thought babies were made as a child.

As the oldest of four and with a number of cousins, babies were always popping out right and left around me. But no one would tell me where they came from. I have this vivid memory of standing in our kitchen, looking at my brother Jeremy in his blue baby swing and asking my mother where babies came from. And I remember she told me to hush and shooed me out of the kitchen into the playroom where she thought I could easily be distracted with some building blocks.

But how wrong Tina was because the problem of babies did not leave my mind. So, I came up with my own theory of how babies are made. I was convinced that every woman had a button on her stomach, and when her husband and she wanted a baby, all he had to do was push the button. Then the women would get a bit heavy but 9 months later a baby would appear.

My theory was tried when I had an aunt who was (dare I say it) fat and childless. But I was such a clever child that I came up with the assumption that her button got jammed, hence why she was fat without a child.

I hope you all enjoy that childish theory of mine.

Until next time,
Jackattack