Is that what she said?

As my partner in crime stated in her previous entry, I was going to talk about what a class act Derek Jeter is. But I changed my mind.

I did start an entry about the problems in Africa and then I realized just how depressing that is for noon on a Wednesday. So! I decided to write about another topic very near and dear to my heart: "The Office." More specifically, Scranton since it is the location of the hit television show and just so happens to be my hometown.

And I guess I can throw in the birthplace and childhood town of Vice President Biden. And good ole Hill always claims her family lived the "American dream" in Scranton. “This is me in Scranton,” she said. “This is where my father was raised and my grandfather worked in the lace mill.” What Hill neglects to mention, however, is that the lace mill was much more glamorous than the underwear factory that my Gram worked in.

Forget Scranton being the center of politics for the past few months. I care more about the fame from The Office. I recently went home on a Friday and was shocked to see that on page 2 of our local newspaper, there is a spot that prints the Scranton references from the night before on the episode of The Office. And on our newspaper's homepage online there is an interactive tour of The Office locations.

But every week when I watch The Office, I am constantly noticing little mistakes the show is making about my hometown. So, I am here to clear up some myths:

1. Lake Scranton is not a beach. It is, however, the drinking water for Scrantonians. So, we usually do not swim in it, as was seen in the episode "Beach Games."
2. The Steamtown Mall does not have an American Girl's Doll store. Nor do we even have a Gap anymore, as it was taken down to make room for a store by the name of "No! Question?" Try to fit that into a story line about Angela's wardrobe from "Women's Appreciation Day."
3. Stroudsburg is an hour away and no one I know goes out for lunch to Stroudsburg. Not only is it out of one's way, it's also a shitty collegetown that has nothing to offer but some cheap tarot card readings. Also, New York City is two hours away and no true Scrantonian gets in his car and says, 'Let's go to New York for dinner!' as they often do in The Office. Scrantonians do not like to spend money on gas.
4. Jim attended West Scranton High School. If the producers wanted to make the "cool" character of Scranton branch actually "cool," he would have attended Scranton High School, not West Scranton. Also, the story line of Jim being on a winning basketball team in high school is fabricated. The Invaders constantly lose to the Knights. Always.
5. Lake Wallenpaupack has been a constant camping spot in my family since before my mother was born. I cannot recall ever going on a cruise there though. Much less a booze cruise.

So my goal? I want to be an intern on the set of The Office to make sure all of the Scranton trivia will be correct. And of course be John Krasinski's personal assistant.

Not that I want to dismiss all references of Scranton. Some are true. The reputation that Dunmore High School girls have would probably make it likely that one would date Andy Bernard.

That's all for now. Though I do have this bit of hopeful news: Last summer, producers of the television show visited Scranton looking for ads. I dropped off some old Scranton High School softball and basketball shirts. So, if you happen to see a maroon Knights hoodie on an extra in the show, you'll know where it came from.

-Jack